Love or Infatuation?

Have you ever wondered what the difference is between love and infatuation?  Maybe you have never even thought about it. We know it is linked with love somehow, and is used to describe feelings associated with love, but what exactly are we talking about? Infatuation does not only involve feelings, it has biological implications as well.  Infatuation may be needed as a prerequisite to, or component of love; but it is not love.

Infatuation is exciting, exhilarating, and it gives you that warm all over feeling when you just think about someone you like.    The first date, first kiss, and the way you relate to one another, all of these are necessary steps in the intriguing game of “love”.  They are not love, but they play an important role in the process.  It is electric, it is great, everything is new, everything feels good, we love the process, but a process is just that.  It is a process, and not the final product.  .  This is only stage one.  We fall in love with the process, the series of “firsts.”   

Here are some things to consider:  because infatuation may be a necessary element when falling in love, and can be mistaken for love, there are several symptoms you really help you recognize where you are.  Here I will show you just three: overwhelming excessive excitement, little or no self control, and jealously. These are sure signs that you are in trouble.  That is the behavior of an emotionally needy person who is not happy with themselves. If God is a part of the plan, you can wait. 

Infatuation is thought to be fueled by natural chemicals produced by our bodies and is said to last three to five years.  There are several chemicals that are released in our brains to produce feelings of bliss, pleasure, that help attach us to one another, and feelings that mediate alertness and sexual arousal.  They influence our reward system, affect our generosity, fuel our empathy, and nourish our feelings when becoming involved with someone.   Are you “in love with being in love?” 

Do you love the chemical rush of brain chemicals, which is commonly associated with the pleasure system of the brain and provide feelings of enjoyment?   Being under the influence may explain why some people stay in relationships for only relatively short periods of time.   Attaching themselves to new relationships exposes them to the “infatuation chemicals” over and over again.  It mirrors addictive behavior, and it is not love.

Love never fails  I Corinthians 13:8