Throughout time, people have endeavored to tell us what love is. We read about it in poems and sonnets, we hear about it in songs, and we see it in the words of greetings cards. We watch actors in plays as they try to portray for us a convincing image of what love is. Then there are always the movies that show a completely dysfunctional depiction of love. The media spends millions of dollars to describe this sublime level of being, and the phenomena that we call love.
But consider this: love is not sex, love is not feeling good about someone, and love is not enjoying someone’s company, sexual attraction, affection, or lust. We can, however, mistake any of them for love. It is important to be able to differentiate between a good feeling and love. Remember, affection, infatuation, and lust that are satisfied dies away.
Just as important as being able to distinguish what love is, is the ability to identify what is not love. We are programmed to believe, if we meet someone and are attracted to them, like talking to them, and enjoy their company, we have found love. We are sometimes convinced that because mutual attraction brought us together, we are destined for a life together.
“Lust” is a dirty word that we never consider. However lust, is simply, according to the Wikipedia, “any intense desire and craving for self-gratification.” Judging love using the intenseness of your attraction, or the need to be with them no matter what it takes, and no matter who it hurts, or no matter how much disarray it brings to their lives, may not be love at all. Love will cause you to think about what is “best” for the other person. Lust will cause you to want them at any cost, without any thought for what “price” or “disruption” the other person has to face because of your intense need for them.
Whenever it does not matter that your request for their time is inconvenient, you must be with them no matter what it costs, that my friend is not love. You seriously and honestly believe that whatever challenges you face, you can work them out together. Even if it is just a delay, time to finish school, time to grow and pursue their life’s dream, once you are together, you believe it can all be worked out. So what if we have to struggle for a while? You can make it work! Perhaps, you need to take a closer look at what you are feeling.
Love in its pure form, seeks good things, even the best, for the other person. Lust is selfish, and all about me. II Corinthians 13:4-6 tells us “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, and it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres”. Be careful, relationships built on sensual lusty feelings do not last. Lust fails, but love never fails. II Corinthians 13:8
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